The Little Wolf Express has been quiet, less announcements from your conductor. Let me give you some perspective as to why I’ve been so quiet…
In February 2011 I became the Head Teacher at my academy; within 6 months of working as a regular teacher I was promoted. That’s awesome, but it meant that I had new responsibilities. I was in charge of training new teachers, organizing curriculum, and I committed myself to whatever things my academy would need. At first, this meant fewer classes and training the new teachers, Beatrice & Wayne; I wasn’t bogged down with work, but this changed. Soon I was staying for meetings that lasted until 1am, becoming emcee of speech contests, and translating culture daily.
I felt moments of intense frustration and impatience with this new position. All the ideas I had, I shared, and then I saw them not come to fruition. The system we have at our academy is functioning, but not at its full potential. There is so much bureaucratic jargon, double-checking and triple-checking, and an over-emphasis of writing in English without reinforcing correcting errors. At first, I was so hopeful, but I’ve lost most of the hope and realized that I can’t do everything. There are too many bosses, too many opinions and way too many meetings that clog up the road for improvement.
The Koreans in my office have an obsession with meetings (note: my 1am meetings) and deference; while the foreign teachers have an obsession with directness, brevity of bureaucracy, and earned respect. Of course, the two worlds collide and the resulting friction is damaging for morale: The administration and supervisors are left clueless and the foreign teachers are left grumbling, holding up the proverbial middle finger. But, have no fear because here I come to grease the wheels and wipe tushies: explaining to the Koreans how foreigners will understand decisions, explaining to the foreigners how the administrators have their hands tied, and ultimately bridging the cultural gaps that separate the bosses and the workers. So work’s changed for me. I’m not just a teacher anymore: I’m a cultural puzzle-solver, I feel like the oil that keeps the gears lubricated and running.
And when the jigsaw of work seems too confusing and incongruous, my private life and love erupts like an untimely volcano. Relationships end, new ones form, and I’m pulled like the racked man between obligations and opportunity. On the one hand, I have my obligations (essays, diaries, and other commitments); and on the other hand, I have my friends, my girlfriend, and the limitless opportunities of enjoyment that they offer. Often, I find myself after work (if I haven’t stayed at the office until 1 or 2am) exhausted or just wanting the immediate entertainment of music or television. On the weekends, I have a Korean class and the savory moments off the clock; when does Billy write?
Yesterday it was humid outside and I smelt that familiar odor of moisture, distant sewage, and fish that first welcomed me to Korea. I felt a twinge of nostalgia from when I first smelt that unique miasma that hovers around my apartment complex. I thought, it’s warming up. I can feel the humidity returning. I’m leaving soon. I’ll start writing more, for everyone, but especially for myself. To record these moments and let you all know that the Little Wolf Express is still chugging.
